Instead I go with it, I go with the flow, the slow, the deep blue hues and the sea breeze and I let it seep in, in under my skin. I let go of what bothers me, what frightens me and dive deep, settle, sink to the bottom of my own ocean of emotions of thoughts and distractions and there at the deepest point, I find the place where I am still. Where there's no further to go down, no deeper to be, things will not get darker, colder, this is the limit of me. Here in the depths I sense what I am capable of and each year I do this I build a resilience that holds me safe and lets me go at my pace, doing my thing, in my own creative way.
In my floating, sinking, I have moved away from drawing coffee in the coffee shops and started to sit beside the shore. Sometimes the same place, space, where I've sat sketching in my 1000 words for Summer. This time though, I'm not sketching the scene, I'm listening to the stories the scene has to tell. By sitting here and back in my studio at home, at my computer and by the books I've been reading, books like "A Gift from the Sea", I've been immersing myself in the flow.
As I said in my last Winter Dreaming post. "It's a surround sound experience." Maybe I am looking for a creative Terroir, Genus loci, a sense of place, a certain "je ne sais quoi" yes, I'm not sure what I'm looking for but I'm sure I'll know it when I find it. Maybe it's an primal thing, to want to listen to the tales of the sea and the land, to bond with them and let my art convey something special.
Unlike Joshua I didn't grow up here, I grew up near Stonehenge, and have been lucky enough to travel to many sacred places both here and overseas and felt the power of the earth. I've felt connected to the sky as well. So when the Solstice comes, it's a time which connects me to this planet as a whole and I'm wondering if I am trying to tell a narrative or simply a series of images. What about the poetry winter brings out in me? How does it all fit together.
Watching the videos again about Joshua's works I realise my works are very small, but it's a start. Maybe it's the subtraction, the carving, the negative space that I seek. Certainly the vibrations between the lines speak and in these doodles, these intuitive drawings, in my filming and photographs and in my poetry I am seeing and sensing a repetition that its comforting that gradually, slowly I am finding me. What I love and what is my gift to the world?
I'm not sure I've quite reach the bottom. Maybe there's a few more hemispheres to go! In the meantime happy accidents like filming this mermaid as she emerged from the sea on the iconic Bondi Beach, when whilst swooping on the film crew, this seagull swooped on me! Maybe all these things are simply a reminder that life and art are always connected.
Then again today, the day before the equinox, a pod of dolphins swam by. Up and down they frolicked close to shore as the rain began to pour. Then after the sun shower a rainbow appeared.
Magic really does happen!